Being An Emotionally Strong Parent To Raise Emotionally Strong Children
There are no absolutes in parenting. There is no way to anticipate every emotional response your child will have during the day. Young children learn how to deal with their emotions by the people in their lives. Just like in Erikson’s stages of social emotional development, children under 5 are learning about trust, autonomy, shame, doubt and purpose.
As a parent, I understand the frustrations of temper tantrums, whininess and talking back. These are all teachable moments to teach a child how to manage their emotions. Children whine, throw tantrum and talk back typically because of an emotion, such as anger, frustration, or sadness. Addressing these emotions with your child helps them manage and understand their feelings.
For example, I see that you are mad or sad, when you are calm I am here for you. Think about when you’re mad or sad and someone is getting frustrated with you or wanting you to talk when you’re not ready. It can make the emotion worse. Showing a child you see and understand their emotion and stepping back allows them to cope and understand their own needs.
It is always best to try to remain calm when your child is having a fit or moment of loss of self-control. Sometimes, kid’s outburst seem to come out of left field and be very frustrating to a parent. A child’s outburst can be triggered by the smallest thing that is not even related to what they are upset about. Again, validating their emotion and letting them know its ok to be mad, sad or even confused is natural. We need to be there to help our children understand their emotions and learn how to understand and manage them.
There are so many adults in the world that do not understand their own emotions and have trouble managing them. The social emotional health of ourselves possibly stems from an adult that did not acknowledge or validate our feelings. When children are shown that their emotional meltdowns are not important or irritating it can make a child feel insecure. The last thing I want to see or raise is an insecure child.
A secure and confident child is one that will love school, enjoy social moments and have a better sense of self. When a person understands, can manage and openly talk about their emotions help them be secure. Young children need guidance to understand and learn how to manage their emotions. Embracing all your children’s (sometimes crazy) emotions will help them grow up to secure and emotionally stable adults.
Everyone wants to see their child happy all the time but that’s just not reality. It’s not reality as an adult and it is foolish to think it logical to be that way as a child. Even though their little lives seem so much less complex than ours, it’s not. Children are constantly learning and growing into that amazing adult we all hope for them to be and we need to be the best models and teachers to help get them there.