I am very often grateful that the elf on the shelf was not as known when my children were younger. Besides the 25 days of figuring out what to do with the elf from a parent standpoint, what is the gain for children? I am aware this is not going to be popular opinion, but we commonly see an increase of bad behavior before Christmas, and I partially blame the “ELF”.
I do feel children need to intrinsically learn what right and wrong is and not learn through a naughty little elf. The elf’s job is to report good behavior to “Santa”. The original premise was to promote kindness, family values and making good choices. But he’s typically doing naughty things, which does not correspond to inspiring good behavior. It could teach children to be deceitful and how to get away with naughty behavior. Another downfall is when we use threats with the elf and parents don’t follow through it can cause confusion and manipulation. Following through on boundaries is important in parenting. When parents use threats about not getting gifts and the elf is watching does not create the learning lesson.
If parents want to use an elf on a shelf, they could make a 25-day list of behaviors we want to instill in children. Here are some examples I came up with:
1. Donate clothing to women’s shelter or foster system
2. Donate gently used toys to women’s shelter or foster system.
3. Donate books to children’s hospital
4. Make cards for a nursing home.
5. Help take out trash.
6. Clean up toys/after self.
7. Help make dinner.
8. Pack your own lunch.
9. Make a sweet treat for a neighbor.
10. Feed the homeless
11. Volunteer in a soup kitchen (or anywhere)
12. Make home made gifts for family members.
13. Walk the dog.
14. Clean up dog poop.
15. Feed the family animals.
16. Clean up trash at a park.
17. Make a gratitude list.
18. Unplug family day (?)
19. Help with the laundry
20. Keep your room clean/organized.
21. Think of someone you want to help and how, then do it
22. Teach them breathing and calming technics.
23. Sit and ask your parents/grandparents something about their childhood – get to know your parents/grandparents.
24. Help plan a family vacation/experience.
25. Give compliments.
I hope everyone has a stress free and health holiday season and not be mad at my opinion but maybe make it a better learning experience in 2024.
